Episode 90

90 || Solo Podcast: Who is on your "Affection and Duty List"?

Published on: 9th July, 2025

Welcome!

Establishing My Affection and Duty List

In this episode I introduce a six-part series designed to help you navigate the complexities of supporting aging parents. I start by focusing on the 'who,' proposing the creation of an Affection and Duty List (ADL) to categorize individuals you might support. Using scales to measure affection (from -5 to +5) and duty (from 0 to 10), I discuss how emotions and obligations intertwine. Emphasizing the importance of connection, I encourage you to understand the underlying reasons for your feelings towards those on your list. This episode aims to give you a structured approach to identifying who in your orbit may require support now or in the future.

00:00 Introduction to the Series

01:33 Understanding the 'Who' in Caregiving

05:35 Affection and Duty: The ADL List

06:55 Affection Scale Explained

10:06 Duty Scale Explained

12:50 Combining Affection and Duty Scores

25:35 Fluidity of Affection and Duty Over Time

31:32 Conclusion and Next Steps



Caveats:

  • This is a judgement free zone
  • There are no "shoulds" allowed, we live in curiosity
  • Take what works well for you, leave the rest!
  • This podcast is for informational purposes only; it is not intended as formal legal, financial or medical advice


If you are finding value in this podcast, please share and leave a review so others can find it too!

Rebecca

Website: rebeccatapiamd.com

Disclaimer: The information presented on this podcast is solely for information purposes. We do not provide medical, legal, financial, or other professional advice through this podcast and we are not responsible for any errors or omissions. It is your responsibility to seek advice from a licensed professional. Any actions you take are done at your own risk.

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About the Podcast

Real conversations about aging parents
Captivating stories, insights and expert opinions about life with aging parents
Join me every week for REAL conversations about the ups, downs and sideways of navigating life with aging parents. We focus on mindset, education and collaboration through a willingness to discuss raw stories and all the sticky topics. Cultural pressure? Financial problems? Family dynamics? Fascinating!!
No judgement here. No shoulds. Just a bunch of people figuring this out together.

About the host:
I am a recovering perfect daughter, elective roommate of my 90 year old grandmother, and a rehabilitation physician who has seen *thousands* of families navigate the chaos that can occur when the unexpected happens (falls, strokes, etc). I've been taking notes and I'm ready to share and listen.

About your host

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Rebecca Tapia